


I hear your eyes when I see those cries

by Sm0l_Nya



Category: Half Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware
Genre: Could be seen as romantic or platonic, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, I'm Bad At Summaries, M/M, One-Shot, i guess??, idk when this takes place, the science team is mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-24
Updated: 2020-08-24
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:34:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26078800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sm0l_Nya/pseuds/Sm0l_Nya
Summary: Gordon can’t sleep and stumbles upon a singing Benrey.
Relationships: Benrey & Gordon Freeman, Benrey/Gordon Freeman
Comments: 2
Kudos: 137





	I hear your eyes when I see those cries

**Author's Note:**

> Yes this trope is overused, but I’m just a simple bi man who wants more hurt/comfort.

It was the middle of the night... probably. It was hard to tell the time inside the walls of Black Mesa. For all Gordon knew, they’d been stuck in this alien infested hell hole for years, desperately fighting their way through.

But either way, right now, it feels way too late and Gordon can’t sleep. Oh, how much he wanted to. His body felt sluggish and sore, but his mind buzzed, making even thinking about sleep out of the question. Besides, he had to stay awake to watch the science team, who all were currently laying around him, sleeping soundly. Well, all but Benrey, who was nowhere to be seen, which wasn’t too odd, but still didn’t help Gordon’s anxiety. The fear that Benrey could just… appear at any moment and fuck everything up. But then again, Benrey could’ve been killed and they’ll never see him again. Sure he’s been shown to respawn but… what if something happens and he’s gone for good…? Why does the thought of Benrey being gone forever fill Gordon with more fear? 

Gordon shook his head, he really needs to stop thinking about the chaotic security guard so much. It was like he plagued Gordon’s mind, constantly aggravating him whether he’s there or not. Suddenly, a muffled, high-pitched noise caught his attention. _“I better check that.”_ Anxiety spiking, Gordon stood up, grabbing his crowbar along the way. 

The sound was far away, and constantly played, making finding the source easy, and based on the tone, it shouldn't've been hard to guess where it was coming from, and yet Gordon still felt surprised when he cracked opened the door to a long abandoned office to see Benrey sitting in one of the corners, legs pulled into his chest. Bubbles of bright yellow along with bits of pastel blue spilled from his mouth, the sound of his singing completely filling Gordon’s ears. All the lights in the room were off, making it almost pitch black, if it weren't for the glowing orbs flowing from Benrey. Gordon couldn’t help but silently watch, a part of him feeling guilty for spying on him. 

It was like the dark office was the night sky and the humming bits of light were stars created just for Benrey to see. _In a way, they were._

He watched for god-knows how long. Until, the singing abruptly stopped and Benrey looked over at him, making eye contact, causing Gordon to flinch in place. But, neither of them moved. The two of them were silent for a few seconds, the fading balls of Sweet Voice still humming. 

“I- uh…” Gordon started, not sure what to say. Benrey continued to stare at him, his face looking as interested as ever. And yet, his unblinking eyes held an emotion that Gordon couldn’t name. “You want to come back to the rest of the group?” Gordon asked, stepping into the office. 

Benrey tilted his head back, resting it on the wall behind him. “Nah, still wanna sing.” With that, more Sweet Voice fell from his mouth, lighting up the room once again. 

For some reason, a part of him wanted to stay with Benrey, away from everyone. He really should get back to them. And yet... “Then, can I sit with you?” Gordon asked without thinking. Benrey stopped singing again, his eyebrows slightly rising, in what Gordon assumed was surprise. 

“Why? Are you having trouble sleeping and wanna- wanna taste my balls? Will that help lil’ baby Feetman sleep?” Benrey asked, a teasing smirk filling his face.

“No! And don’t phrase it like that!” Gordon’s face burned, and yet he still stomped over to the security guard and sat down with a huff. Benrey did nothing to stop him. “Besides, I don’t feel like sleeping.” 

Benrey shrugged, still smiling and went back to singing, the colors staying the same. 

“What do the colors mean?” Gordon asked. 

“None of your business.” Benrey’s smile fell. 

“And why don’t you want to be around everyone else? We’ve seen you sing without any problems before.”

“Sometimes a bro just wants privacy, which you don’t seem to understand.” Benrey looked over at Gordon when he said that, making some bubbles of Sweet Voice pop on Gordon’s face. He tried to swat them away, but a few somehow made it into his mouth, it tasted like sweet lemons and sour blueberries? Gordon’s mind filled with confusion. 

_“I_ don’t understand? You always force yourself into my shit!” Gordon snapped. 

“You don’t have your passport, what else am I supposed to do?” 

“Again with the fuckin’ passports!” Gordon stood up, a sudden rush of anxiety and confusion taking over his mind, it felt like everything in the world suddenly stopped making sense. _Why did Benrey bother him so much? Why did he even try to befriend him? Why can’t he sleep? Does Benrey sleep? Why? Why? Why?_

“I probably shouldn't have done that…” Benrey mumbled, loud enough for Gordon to hear. 

“Done what?”

“... Bright yellow with bits of blue means I don’t know what to do.” Benrey finally answered. “Your mind is gonna be all- all scrambled up now. Like eggs.” 

Despite what Gordon wanted to think, Benrey was right. His entire mind felt jumbled up and messy. Nothing in the world seemed to make sense. “Can’t you stop it?” 

“Nuh-uh.” Benrey shook his head, “Not too many went into your mouth so it’ll only last a few minutes. Or days, I don’t know.” Benrey smirked again, flashing his sharp teeth.

“Days!?” Gordon gasped. There is no way he can stay this messed up for a few days, they had to get out of Black Mesa! 

“Just kidding, Bro. Geez, you need to chill. I would give you some nice blue Sweet Voice but I don’t know what would happen if I gave you multiple types. Maybe it’ll make you even more messed up, might fry your brain forever. Heh, Gordon Friedman.” Benrey said, voice monotone. 

“That doesn’t even sound close!” Gordon started to pace around the office, trying to get his mind to shut up. He desperately wanted to go back to anxiously sitting with the science team, at least then he was able to make sense of what was real… mostly. “Isn’t Sweet Voice a way of expressing your feelings?” the question left Gordon, he felt like he had to ask something, to get some sort of answers in the world. 

“Yeah, but it makes you feel a more extreme version of it.” 

Gordon felt a tang of pity, he felt like he couldn’t deal with a fraction of this confusion. “And why do you sing so much?” 

Benrey hesitated to answer that, “...Sometimes it- it feels like if I don’t make noise I’ll... stop existing, as cringy as that sounds.” Benrey shifted in place, discomfort on his face. “I gotta make sure all my surroundings still are workin’, make sure you- you all can still hear me. I’m not some sort of- sort of ghost or somethin’. I- I don’t know.” He looked down, the shadow of his helmet hiding his face. 

Maybe he was being more honest because he felt bad about confusing Gordon, but it still felt nice to hear something from Benrey that sounded… human. Sometimes it felt like his only emotions were indifference and smugness, so it was refreshing to hear something that confirmed he had _some_ other emotions.

Gordon finally sat down again, the fog in his mind starting to clear. Benrey was right in which it only lasted a few more minutes, but either way those few minutes were pure torture and drained Gordon compleatly. He was back where he started, body feeling sore and sluggish, and yet… after all those sudden questions and answers, his mind felt tired and for once, he wanted to sleep. 

Without thinking, he rested his head on Benrey’s shoulder. Benrey flinched in surprise, but quickly relaxed and leaned back into Gordon’s touch. His helmet was a bit uncomfortable on Gordon, but his HEV suit was probably a million times worse against Benrey. 

Benrey went back to singing, but this time it was a calming mix of purple and blue. And, before Gordon knew it, he had fallen asleep listening to the low hum.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! This was mostly just a study to figure out how to write Gordon and Benrey since I haven’t written them before, with a side of venting out my constant need to make noise. 
> 
> I made it taste like sweet lemons and sour blueberries because that is confusing, and yet still makes sense! And the meaning of purple to blue is up to you! (hehe that rhymed)
> 
> Also, special thanks to my friend, Rosie for beta reading this!!


End file.
